Hug Helps to Heal (Almost Everything)...
I still remember as if it happened yesterday. One moment I was a carefree childless young woman, and the next a mother of a newborn baby. It was all so surreal. The first few days were like a dream, filled with a lot of peeks into the bassinet and awkward little cuddles. Yep, I am not a baby person. I'd sooner answer cheeky questions from an obnoxious school kid than holding and cooing someone's baby. And yet, a baby of my own....was so magical! Being a mum was all I've ever wanted since I was in grade 5 (d'uh!) and there the baby was...dream comes true!
Until reality sunk in.
See, I was blessed with an adorable high need baby. Wait a minute, adorable wasn't even on my list of descriptive words when she was at her neediest. And she, my lovely readers, just wouldn't stop at just a few months. She grew from being a high need baby to a high need toddler, to a high need preschooler, and so on and so on. All her cries sounded the same - dramatic, and her tantrums were just similarly so - explosive. And once her feelings were out, there was no stopping them. Period.
At first, I resisted. I watched people with babies and listened to friendly advice. Elevated mattress? Check. White noise? Check. Favourite toy (or more like persuading her to have one)? Check. Time out? Err....check.
So what went wrong??? I was earnestly trying and yet there was no stopping that temper tantrum from escaping her little body.
Until I gave up and just picked her up. Close to me in a sling, just like that.
So when she was finally a toddler with her infamous tantrums, I would watch her rolling on the floor for a minute or two, and then offered, "Wanna hug?"
When as an older child she cries from even the simplest things (that make me want to roll my eyes and stomp my feet to a different direction), I ask her above all things, before all serious talks commence, "Do you need a hug?"
Before we know it, hugging has become a routine in our relationship. And believe it or not, tears and tantrums solved within minutes, sometimes seconds.
Hug is good for me, too. Because no matter how boiling mad I felt towards her, once I resolved myself to hug her, the anger melts away somehow. At least it dulls. And manageable.
And my big baby knows hug is good for her and the others, too. So she passes it around.